Meh

Because blogging wins, here I am again.

I was so hyped for 2009. I really thought that some hot shit was going to take place. But so far, I've been pretty damn disappointed. Nothing has really interested me and I'm getting sort of bored. Everything is sooo average; school is average, friendships are average, AVERAGE.
I think the average-ness is why I'm obsessing so much over "Madison" because I've got nothing better to do so I just spend my days going 'Omomomom'. I think the OMFG NEW CRUSH thing will pass soon and Madison will quickly join my been-there pile.
I guess average is better than bad. But at least when things are bad there's actually something to do. When things are average it's just so boring. So, really, it becomes a question over what's better; general badness or massive boredom?
Hopefully something will happen soon. But I can't really see it. Honestly, it looks like 2009 will probably be a pretty average year. That would be a massive let down. I was expecting a lot from this year, and so far it hasn't delivered.
But then, it's my own fault that nothing has happened. I think I block things. I complain about nothing happen but I never take opportunities when they arise. I get nervous and shy and hope that things will just happen. Things don't just happen. If I want something, I should try a little harder. If I want someone, I should try a little harder.

Ordinary Day

Just a day, just an ordinary day. Just trying to get by. Just a boy, just an ordinary boy. But he was looking to the sky.

I don't even know what to say, but...

I FUCKING HATE YOU! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE! YOU HAVE MADE ME MISERABLE SINCE DAY ONE! FORGET YOU, GO HOME! GOOD BYE! I WANT YOU TO GO AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK! I NEVER WANT TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOU AGAIN!

Please, I just can't take it anymore.

Secret Crush

Alright, let's think of a random name..... Okay, let's call them Madison. Okay, so on and off, I've liked Madison since... Well, since year 9, really. So that's like three years now. Well, I really like Madison again right now. Although we hardly ever talk and whenever we do I can't tell if they're being nice or if they're mocking me. Madison is WAY too good for me, and I could never get them, but... Well, it just sometimes seems like Madison likes me back, and other people say so too. Now it could just be that Madison is a massive tease, or maybe... I just, I just can't let myself think that they could because then I get my hopes up. And I know that that will only end badly. I don't know what to do. I really want something to happen. Like, really, really. But I don't know. I barely speak to them enough to get a chance to be friendly. And I'm unsure on my ability to subtly flirt. I've made a promise that Madison and I will be a couple by the end of the year but I don't know how I'm going to pull that off. Oh well, I guess the only wait to find out is to wait and see what happens. Okay, it's late and I have a field trip tomorrow so, good night!